By Craig Regan
Pondering the Federal Budget? Concerned about the prospects for peace in the Middle East or simply pondering the existence of a god? Worry no more. The single most important issue in the world today is Facebook’s lack of a Dislike button.
For anyone cut off from modern society and technology – and I’m thinking people who are Amish, strict Methodists or members of The Australian Greens – you need to know that Facebook users view the world as a blue-themed stream of comments, pictures and videos on a computer screen.
People used to interact with friends by phoning or dropping by their house for a drink or a coffee. Now they do it through acknowledging a post on their Facebook wall by clicking a button called Like.
The lack of a Dislike button sticks in lots of craws - and fair enough. It’s very limiting.
Nobody in the real world walks around “liking” everything unless they’ve been lobotomised, inducted into a hippy commune or live in Nimbin. All of which are more or less the same thing.
It’s oddly uncomfortable to see a Facebook friend mourn the loss of a loved one on their wall and have “liking” what they posted as the only option. Unless, of course, callous Aunt Millie also left you out of her will or Iggy the axolotl was particularly ugly.
Assuming they ever became “friends”, would Tony Abbott ever like anything on Julia Gillard’s Facebook wall? There’s more chance of Bob Katter’s Far North Queensland electorate freezing over – although judging by some of his past statements, Climate Commissioner Tim Flannery might say it’s on the cards.
No, if Abbott’s really Mr Negative he’s going to use that Dislike button more often than a disgraced MP plonks a trade union credit card on the counter at a knock shop and says: “Charge me!”
Every few months someone threatens to bring a Dislike button to Facebook - and it always turns out to be a scam or a lame browser add-on that’s only visible to worshippers of Google Chrome.
Disliking is simply not part of the Facebook World. Social media is about connecting "friends” and encouraging interaction. A Dislike button would mayhem.
If Google Circles was meant to be a place for fights it would be called Google Boxing Rings.
So if you see this blog piece on a Facebook feed, don’t forget to “like” it and pass it on. And if you dislike it – suck eggs.